


No Really I Hate Him

by PrussianInAmerica



Series: Vader Wouldn't Have Put Up with You [2]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Abuse of cell phones, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Annoying Kylo, Bad date, M/M, Panicky Kylo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-11
Updated: 2016-05-11
Packaged: 2018-06-07 19:46:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6821608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrussianInAmerica/pseuds/PrussianInAmerica
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Phasma is on a mission to get Hux out of his comfort zone while also making Kylo lose his mind a little bit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Really I Hate Him

**Author's Note:**

> Long story short: I'm sleep deprived and anxious as fuck, so you get to read about Hux on a terrible date with Mitaka and Ren not taking it well. This has been partially finished for awhile, and probably could have waited until my hiatus is officially done, but I have no patience.
> 
>  
> 
> _”Imagine person A of your OTP on a date, but all they do is talk about person B.”_  
> [otpprompts](http://otpprompts.tumblr.com/)
> 
>  
> 
> It got a little off-topic, but I like it. I'm probably not the best judge of anything right now, though.

There wasn’t anything wrong with Dopheld, not really. Hux just had nothing in common with him aside from their shared major. Any conversation they tried to start that wasn’t on the subject of school died quickly. Most of Hux’s focus was on wondering what Phasma must have been thinking to set the two of them up.

_**Most Annoying Dork Ever**_  
_”Has your date made up a family emergency and left yet?”_  
_Received 8:34pm, 3/15/13_

He still had no earthly idea how Phasma’s psycho friend had gotten his number, as the woman herself swore she hadn’t given it to him, and if it wouldn’t have taken so much work he would have changed it as soon as he’d gotten the first annoying text in the middle of the night.

_”It’s only been half an hour.”_  
_Sent 8:35pm, 3/15/13_

On a good date, Hux never would have checked his phone, but Dopheld wasn’t even looking at him. They’d been sitting in tense silence for several minutes and honestly he’d hoped he was urgently needed elsewhere. He’d never make up an excuse – which was the height of rude – but if someone gave him one he’d take it.

_**Most Annoying Dork Ever ******_  
_”And you’re texting another man? What would your mother think? ;P”_  
_Received 8:37pm, 3/15/13_

Later, he’d find that he’d cracked the power button of his phone with the force he used on it, but in the moment he only knew the annoyance Ren caused with a few words.

“Something wrong?” Even Dopheld sounded like he wanted Hux to have some horribly ill relative to attend to.

“Nothing more than usual.”

“Oh. It’s just, I’ve never seen someone turn off a phone that angrily.”

Hux chuckled. “You’ve clearly never seen someone being bombarded by texts from Kylo Ren.”

"Kylo Ren? Didn’t he trash some professor’s office for calling him the wrong name?”

“That’s the rumor.”

“Why’s he texting you?”

“He’s bored? Ran out furniture to destroy? Who knows what goes on in that head. He tracked down my number somehow and hasn’t let up since.”

“He just… Started texting you? For no reason?”

"He likes annoying me for some reason. It’s not important. Don’t we have some tedious small talk to get through before Phasma will let us officially call this a disaster?”

"Oh, right… Um, what’s your favorite color?”

Hux tried not to stab himself with his cutlery for an excuse to leave as he answered a dozen more pointless, stupid questions and politely asked for Dopheld’s own answers. One night of socializing wouldn’t kill him. He hoped.

* * *

“Everything he wears is Star Wars related. I’m not entirely certain how he made it to university.” Hux sipped his water and tried to separate the foods on his plate a little more. If they got any closer it’d all taste the same. “When I met him for the first time he was covered in blood and Darth Vader.”

* * *

“It’s all he watches! I went to his room once to pick up something Phasma had left behind accidentally and he was quoting along with it. Word for word, and I swear he was trying not to start swinging a broom or something around like a lightsaber when a fight broke out.”

Mitaka chuckled around his glass. “He sounds very interesting.”

“He’s the most annoying individual I’ve ever had the displeasure to meet. You should count yourself lucky Phasma hasn’t introduced you yet.”

* * *

“He doesn’t even say ‘for god’s sake’, he says ‘for Vader’s sake’. How obsessed can you get?” Hux didn’t even need encouragement anymore. Dopheld wasn’t sure he’d spoken in the last twenty minutes. It’d been fun – even kind of cute – at first, but it had been a long time since he’d starting hoping the older man would run out of things to say about Ren.

Their desserts arrived and Dopheld found himself asking if he could have his boxed. Screw being polite, he needed to get away from this relentless complaining.

“I’m so sorry, Hux, I just remembered I have a paper due on Monday that I really should go over again.”

“Of course, not a problem. I should be getting home as well. Heaven knows how many annoying texts I’ll have to delete when I turn my mobile back on.” Mitaka pointedly ignored this comment and shrugged his jacket on. “Shall I see you home?”

“No,” Dear god, no. “I’ll manage on my own. You should get home before it gets too late.”

"If you insist. Good luck with that paper."

* * *

_**Most Annoying Dork Ever**_  
_”For shame!”_  
_Received 8:39pm, 3/15/13_

_**Most Annoying Dork Ever**_  
_”Huxy?”_  
_Received 8:46pm, 3/15/13_

_**Most Annoying Dork Ever**_  
_”Are you actually paying attention to your date?”_  
_Received 8:48pm, 3/15/13_

_**Most Annoying Dork Ever**_  
_”So rude. You should at least end the conversation before abandoning the person texting you.”_  
_Received 8:53pm, 3/15/13_

_**Most Annoying Dork Ever**_  
_”Are you still out?”_  
_Received 9:45pm, 3/15/13_

_**Most Annoying Dork Ever**_  
_”You should come over. I’ll teach you about Star Wars.”_  
_Received 10:15pm, 3/15/13_

_**Most Annoying Dork Ever**_  
_”Are you being held hostage or something? Do you need someone to rescue you?”_  
_Received 10:33pm, 3/15/13_

_**Most Annoying Dork Ever**_  
_”Phasma told me where you guys are supposed to be. I’m on my way, stay put.”_  
_Received 10:47pm, 3/15/13_

* * *

Kylo was _not_ overreacting. Who stayed out until eleven on a date they didn’t even want to be on? And Hux couldn’t resist bickering with him. Something was definitely wrong, and he was going to find out what it was.

The restaurant Phasma had directed him to wasn’t really _fancy_ , but it was slightly more formal than Kylo’s pod racer hoodie allowed for him to appear. He certainly didn’t blend in among the crisp button downs and perfectly knotted ties.

As he waved away the host and scanned the large room for Hux’s familiar hair, he became aware that he had no plan. And what did he really think Hux’s date was doing to him? Boring him to death with small talk? He’d probably just managed to find something to talk with his date about and turned off his phone.

Ah, fuck. All he’d succeeded in doing was making a fool of himself. Maybe he could get out before Hux spotted him…

“Ren?”

Double fuck.

Kylo turned to face where the voice had come from, taking care to look surprised to find Hux there. “Hux?”

“Cut the crap, Ren. What are you doing here?”

"I don't know what you’re talking about, Huxley. I’m here for dinner, same as anyone else.”

“Setting aside your clothing,” Kylo made a noise of protest, despite knowing he wasn’t dressed properly at all. It was the principle of the thing. “The restaurant closed five minutes ago.”

“I’m picking up take-out.”

“Ren.”

Fisting the ends of his sleeves, Kylo looked around the room again. “Where’s your date?”

"He already left. What does it matter to you?”

“He just left? In the middle of a date?”

“No, he left at the end. He had a paper to edit. And I still don’t see why this is any of your business.”

“Just, you know, it’s rude. Leaving your date at the restaurant.”

“Honestly, Ren, it hardly matters. Neither of us were having the best time, I’m surprised we made it to dessert. Now will you tell me why you’re here?” Hux made for he door, pausing only long enough for Ren to follow him out onto the sidewalk.

“Um… Is your phone on?”

“No, I turned it off after your second annoying text.”

“Can I see it?”

“No. Why are you acting so strange?”

“Hux, please, I really need to see it.”

“Why would I let you have my phone? I’ve heard what you did to Phasma’s.” So saying, he pulled his cell from his jacket pocket and moved to power it on. “What the– How did this happen?” Hux brought the device closer to his eye and inspected the cracked power button.

“Oh, I’ve had that happen to me plenty of times.”

The older man sighed. “Why am I not surprised?”

“Give it here, I’ll show you how to MacGyver it until you can get it fixed.”

Hux tried to study Ren’s face for any hint that he was about to do something stupid, but he didn’t know the man well enough. “Fine. You’re paying for any further damages you cause.” He handed it over and watched as the taller man made a show of inspecting it himself.

“Yeah, I think I can–” Hux didn’t have any time to react as Ren turned around and whipped the phone at the street. It cracked against the asphalt just in time for a large truck to rumble past, crushing it beyond all recognition. “Oops. I’ll get you a new one.”

Hux stared at the shattered pieces of his mobile for a moment too long, and Ren was halfway down the street by the time he caught up to what had just happened.

"REN!"

* * *

Okay, maybe it hadn’t been a night of great decisions. Possibly, his decisions had led him to being chased through the streets by Hux for an hour, instead of rescuing Hux from an unforeseen danger. Perhaps he would now have to triple check his locks and avoid leaving his room unless absolutely necessary.

But Hux didn’t know that he’d accidentally shown that he cared in some way what happened to him. And that balanced out the cons, he guessed. Maybe.

**Author's Note:**

> Fun fact: This is the longest addition to this series so far! Until I update Zingiberaceous, at least. It's also my 40th post here, and my 16th fic for Star Wars, making it the fandom I've posted for most!
> 
> The plan for Zingiberaceous, Radioactive Tragedy, and Hate Date is still to update either on or just after the 25th, but I am absolute shit at keeping promises so I'm going to apologize in advance for any delays.


End file.
